


Enough Sunshine ch 4

by anotherwriter



Series: The Batman Series [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:22:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29500575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherwriter/pseuds/anotherwriter
Summary: “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” he stood and turned to the window to duck out.“No, it’s not that. It’s just… different seeing this side of you,” I wanted to make sure he didn’t take my reaction the wrong way.“What do you mean?” he turned to face me again, already on the fire escape.“You just don't strike me as the type to comfort a victim or personally update them of something like this,” I looked up at him from the carpet, “oh i'm so sorry! I didn't mean it the way that came out! I just meant… i- um...”“I know what you meant and I’m not,” his face hadn’t changed at all despite how offended some people would take that.I looked down to the carpet again, my cheeps blushing at his words, but when I looked back up he was gone. I stared at the now empty space on my fire escape in wonder at how he moved so quickly and quietly. It was so mysterious… I got up to close the window and lock it. I stood there for a moment suddenly feeling lonely…  that was a new one and I didn't like it. I had felt lonely my entire life, but this was different.
Relationships: Dom Batman - Relationship, Sub Annabella
Series: The Batman Series [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2155113





	Enough Sunshine ch 4

The sun rudely woke me, not caring of my headache and whoa… wait… that wasn't the only thing that hurt. my shoulder… my hip.. oh my god. I blinked fiercely against the sun, it was directly in front of me. I try and shift, the movement sending new pains through me I hadn't noticed before. I give a startled low cry, but grit my teeth. what happened to me. Where am i? Am I safe? Dang I feel heavy and… and confused… like inebriated...

my eyes finally adjust and I glance around. I’m in a large bed facing a foggy glass wall. I think there might be a patio outside of it. I turn my head left. The corner of the wall is glass for about three feet before it turns into a grey wall. I turn my head the other way, grunting. My neck felt like I'd been choked, but like never before.

I see a dark figure slumped in a chair. it's... It's batman. his gloves are off and he is in really bad shape. soft snoring comes out of him and his face is slack in deep sleep. I've never seen him so… vulnerable or so exhausted. I smiled a bit at being able to see this side of him, then moved my jaw around while holding it after realizing how painful and stiff it is. I lifted my head to look down and concentrate more on my body now that I knew I wasn't in immediate danger, at least not yet.

I would never think of him to hurt me, but the types of injuries I felt made me feel very unsure about everything along with waking up in his bed, though him sleeping in a chair in full uniform helps. the right side of my body, mainly my torso area, was one of the most obvious. I just felt battered all over, but it seemed to have taken the worst of what ever happened. the right side of my hip almost throbbed. I try to sit up. I squealed as the pain spiked to a level I was completely unprepared for.

Batman flew out of his seat with his hands in the air, a fierce grunt of aggression coming out of him. The chair behind him flew backwards as he crouched down some, ready to defend or attack. His eyes were wild yet also focused as he heaved a few deep startled breaths through his teeth before he gained control. despite this wildness there was an overwhelming sense like he was still ready for something… no, like he was ready for anything. He looked absolutely terrible.

his reaction triggered something I wasn't prepared for. it sent me into a flash of incoherent dream like memories that bum bared me. they were violent and… and… I came back down on the bed sharply, whimpering as pain in the back of my ribs shot through me. my arms came up over my face in reaction as i see a dark figure hover over me. i cry again, he grabs my injured arm by the elbow and hand to hold it in place to keep me from jerking it in reaction.

"annabella, don’t move, everything’s okay. you were attacked last night, but you’re safe now," his voice was so soothing and sounded different than I’d ever heard it.

he lowered my arm on top of my stomach now and drew his hands back. I felt his fingers brush against my wrist… wait my wrist... I had shut my eyes, but examined them now. They feel raw and have gaze wrapped around them. my right one feels the worst… the same with my ankles. I began crying, trying to wake up and shaking my head at the impossibility of what was being put together in my head as the memories kept hitting me.

He said I was attacked last night, but nothing makes sense. everything I was remembering, it was like I was in another reality. like I was perceiving everything differently. a very distinct sensation I had never experienced. I turned away from him and closed my eyes hard against any possibility that any of that could have happened. He said nothing, but when I started to cry I felt his bare hand on the top of my arm. I refuse to accept this, any of this.

"it's okay bells," he cooed at me softly.

Now I turned to him, my eyes wide with recognition. him calling me bells brought back things in greater detail than anything had come back in yet. These memories also made it all real that it had happened at all.

_"it's okay, shhh… just breathe with me bells...' he calms me before putting my shoulder in place. 'everythings okay bells, tint: 80%,' lights dim around us and he traces fingers over my face to close my tired eyes._

I looked back to him with recognition, shaking my head at him in horror.

"d- did they," and a sob broke my words which were thick with a slur.

I couldn't bring myself to say it. I couldn't remember it going that far and it didn't feel like they had, but I couldn't be sure of anything right now. I was remembering more and more as time went on, but all of it was really in pieces and I feel like I’m missing a lot. I mostly remember sounds, smell, feelings and feeling afraid, violated and being in pain. I knew he had stuck me when he grabbed me. then I remember he had stuck me again... How could I ever be sure of anything that happened?

"no, everything's okay now. just try to calm down," his voice was a little soothing, but I didn't care about my emotional state right now.

him mentioning it made me aware of just how panicked I really was. all I perceive for the most part was flashes of being kissed and licked, of being choked and beaten, my legs being forced open and about having a bare penis on top of me as he stroked it getting ready to take me, of him saying there was a camera, of teeth hurting my nipples and of the other one smelling between my legs and how he said he could force me into cumming, whatever that meant. how it was natural… all of it natural. natural to pump me full of drugs and tie me down, natural to try and force me to give him oral and that i wanted it all, I just didn't know it. 

"stay with me Annabella, we're here in this room. Focus," he ordered. when I didn't respond he said my name with sternness, "Annabella."

I turned my head to face him. I don't know what I felt like or the expression coming off of me but, his eyes melted with sad worry like I’d never seen.

"Ah Bells," he lifted his hand to brush away the tears from both of my cheeks then cup his palm to my face, his eyes glossing over a little.

it seemed like he didn't even know he was doing it. after what I’d been through, you would think it would make me uncomfortable, but I really just wanted him to hold me right now.

"whe-" and I coughed, my throat is so scratchy and sore.

I tried to sit up again and he helped me lean against the headboard, which was kinda soft, seeing as how I needed it. He got a bottle of water and opened it for me. I drank deeply, not realizing how thirsty I was. I had to take a few breaths before I could speak again I drank so much.

"where are we?" I coughed more, "ar- are you okay?"

"a safe place," he answered, ignoring my other question, turning to pick up the chair behind him to sit in front of me.

"completely, you should take it slow," he told me and now his voice was back to it’s hard, toneless one that I was used to.

I look at myself over some more wondering how much I had actually been conscious for. Then I remembered the camera.

"Ohhh," I whimpered. He took my legs to put them over the bed. they were so heavy still…

"stretch your ankles and legs some. you haven't moved for a while. can’t take anything for pain until the drugs are completely gone," he said swiftly.

I just looked away from him and covered my mouth. I shook my head, had he seen it? I couldn't bear to ask right now.

"how long? I know I left the store around 8:15 but he um… he stuck me," my voice had begun to shake, "i- i tr- tired to run, i- i- really did, but-"

he took my hand and rubbed the back of it as he shushed me.

"none of this is your fault, you did everything you could," he said, but didn't answer my question.

"how long?" I asked again.

"you've been asleep for five hours," he still wasn't getting at what he knew I really wanted. I did some math after seeing a clock on the wall in front of us… under around nine and a half hours…

"nine hours… he- they had me...wha- i-.... They-"

my voice became clear as recognition plummeted me into desperation and desperation pushing me to a revolting attempt to try and really remember everything in chronological order so now i could be sure. He said they hadn't raped me, but nine hours… even if they hadn't, what had they done I wasn't conscious for? I knew I wasn't sore inside anywhere, but I wasn't thinking logically now. I clutch at him then winced as a sharp pain shot through my shoulder. I dropped that one, but kept my other hand clutching his other thick arm. Batman put his hands up as his face hardened like a part of him thought I might be trying to attack him in some way.

"how do you know?! HOW DO YOU KNOW?!" My voice raised into a shriek.

"your underwear were intact and no bruising to your inner thighs. I smelled seamen on your stomach so I did a DNA swab to check for bodily fluids. I found saliva and semen, but none inside of you. This all strongly suggests you weren't assaulted that way. You would also be able to feel the soreness from it,” He spoke quickly to reassure me in his emotionless voice.

“You- you…” I stuttered, shaking my head with huge eyes, “inside of me? How did you? Why would you?”

“I used a swab, lifted the crotch off only enough to push the swab in. I didn’t look. I also read the audio from the video,” he says with a little compassion.

him telling me I would enjoy it… getting excited that I'm a virgin… he said we could get to the fun stuff after he took it… he... he smelled between my legs and said i smell amazing… he made all these comments about how appealing i was. their spit… because they had kissed and licked all over me. More was coming back now. His… his… oh my god… he- he ejaculated on my stomach… he… he… I- they were all over me. I could feel them touching me, licking and biting me, warm drops falling onto me and all I can do is lay there. what little bit of fight I had left, he took that too... and then I couldn't even beg... I just had to wait for it to be over, for them to do what they want so it can finally be over.

I wasn't seeing anything any more. without making any conscious decision to do so, i began reaching forward for him, probing around the air sense. I was seeing other things. He already had my hand and it went up my forearm as his other did the same. I quickened towards him, only thinking about him embracing me, holding me together because I was breaking to pieces. He stiffened at my sudden desperation when I realized he had reached for me too. He held me in place gently, but I pushed against him and I heard his breath unsteady.

"Annabella..." he said it like he was almost warning me, like he didn’t feel comfortable with what I was doing.

I ignored him, and continued forward until I almost fell off the bed, falling into him. still drunk with forced sedation and of course he caught me. It sent pain rippling through me everywhere but I wasn't here and the pain was just an echo. I mean what was he going to do, let me fall? he was too much of a gentleman for that. Now he tries to hold me, but not with any real effort and I leaned into his huge protective frame as I sobbed violently while I shook my head against his chest. my mind and body in such turmoil it throbbed and my head hurt so bad I thought it would explode. His arms came out to hover around me to avoid making physical contact as much as possible

"okay..." his voice was low now as he continued to steady himself more. It was also softer again, "it's okay."

As I became more aware of my surroundings, his tense body and voice told me I was not making this easy for him. just as I was about to draw back from him, he took a huge breath, taking his time to inhale and exhale then tightened around me after letting out a sigh that made it clear he was giving in even though he knew it was a terrible idea for some reason. Tucking his hand in my hair line, he put his thumb on the side of my cheek. He got up to sit beside me, putting his arm around and my head in his neck, I felt his lips in my hair. not to kiss or smell me, just hold me to him close.

"it's okay now, it's over," he tried to pacify me and it did.

his strong embrace made me feel like it was over, even though it wasn't. it would never be over. That's what made all of this so hard. it was always the worst part of everything, knowing it would never be over. I would face the risk of these things forever. my breathing slowed into long deep exhausted breaths. my mind began to calm and the tightness in my chest subsided with the stabbing pain in my stomach. I stopped crying for the most part after several minutes and let gravity melt my body into him. I could feel the effects of whatever that creep had gave me still so it made all of this easier. we sat for a while as he kept holding me. I couldn't say exactly how long. somehow I began to feel sleepy again.

I refused to move or say anything, to break this perfect moment of tranquility. while I was in his arms, I felt more at peace than I ever had. Him holding me was so soothing. I felt like someone was finally on my side, like he would fight for me and he had. Obviously been through hell last night so it had taken him some time, but he made it. while I was here no one could touch me. maybe it should bother me that he's so protective and acted the way he did towards me, but it made me feel… so cared for and before feeling cared for was a horrible feeling. could it turn into something worse later? besides, it wasn't for the right reasons. It was because of my uncontrollable seductress nature, but for now it was keeping me from boiling alive like a bug in a flame and so I yielded to my desire to be comforted by him.

I drifted and floated, his breathing the only thing keeping me aware I was here. his heartbeat in my ear was soothing like I was a newborn. it began to pull me under just as he put his arms under me to pick me up. He staggered and grunted before straightening, but I was already almost completely under. I peeked at him a moment, a little curious where he was taking me. I glanced around, but didn’t see anything really besides a table, counter, chairs so I look back up to him with a slight scowl. He set me down beside a toilet and held my arms as I got my footing. I wobbled, having to hold onto him and I glanced around with a wince.

I shooed him so he left me alone. When I was done, I stumbled across the bathroom as I held onto the counter to get to the door. He’s opening it already without knocking before I’ve walked three steps. My mouth opens to insult him for such rudeness as he comes towards me. His hands are out, moving very fast across the bathroom to catch me before I’ve even begun to fall over. An oof comes out of me when he does and he goes ahead and scoops my feet out from under me to carry me out. Dang… and I thought shoving at his hands was hard and worn me out... 

he lowered me onto the bed and I felt his fingers move my hair out of my face then he drew away from me. I tried to grip his cape, it hardened like metal somehow under the pressure. He uncurled my fingers gently and covered me with a blanket. I felt him brush my forehead and cheek again. He stood there for a moment doing so before he withdrew his hand.

"tint: 80%," and the natural light around us dimmed low.

That was the last thing I perceived.

**…………………………………………………**

before I knew it, I was being woken from peaceful sleep. no dreams or nightmares of any kind, just blissful darkness. The first thing I was aware of was the familiar pain reminding me of everything that happened. ya know, like you wake up feeling okay then the world floods back to you and your just like, oh crap… right… that's my life. it felt like I was still in the same bed. laying on my back and one hand was on my chest while the other was next to my face.

"yes," I recognized batman's voice immediately, it was low and to the left of me. there was a pause and I listened, "no, only if we have too," another pause, "I won't take any unnecessary risks… yes........... yes..... yes… let me know if anything else turns up.... connection to case 837.... yes.... thank you," I listened, but it seemed the conversation was over. I wondered if they are always listening…

I didn't want to move, I was so stiff and weak. Besides, I was so curious about him. I wanted to see what he would do or say. His voice had been coming from the direction my head was facing: left and I wanted to peek at him, but I really didn't want to move. I was still half asleep and didn't want to open my eyes to wake myself any further. so i decided i would just drift on the edge of sleep and wet my appetite for curiosity. win win.

After what felt like several minutes I heard a noise to the right of me, but I hadn't heard any footsteps. I listened, a little worried that someone else might be in the room with me… would he do that? I didn't hear much else beside quiet clicking noises.

"calibrate," I heard his voice again to my right confirming it had been him, "reset: 12.38," I heard a quiet little beep, "go ahead...… on the corner of 21st and- …... correct...… the quathanoxinal?" he must have been talking to someone else again, "run a cross check on the doctors with the new data …..and?" 

it sounded like he put something down and stood up, the only evidence of this was the chair moving. after a few moments his voice came from my left again.

"it won’t get that far...... I don’t want him involved until we’re sure all the gas is accounted for…… he’s not ready…… we’ll gas him again in the next six months and see…… yes…... I’ll look into it tonight...… no….. I don’t care, he starts patrols every night again after his trip…… sounds like he should have done that instead of being a vigilante.

“Either he does it on his own time or he can’t be a part of this team. He’s missed weeks of patrol and I’m done with this. I didn’t put all this time into him for him to be here half the time…… he can quit any time he wants base…… he can’t be both. I have no problem with him taking time off to pursue things sometimes, but a contract is out of the question.

“I need his full attention and so does Gotham,” then his voice got so low I had to struggle to make it out, “it was close...… still sleeping…... experimental, so I wasn't sure what to expect, but she's okay despite O.D.ing…... thank you," and the conversation was over.

I was beginning to wake up some more and was almost ready to get up. I haven't eaten or drank anything besides a bottle of water for at least 24 hours. Not only that but I had to pee so bad it was painful. I didn't see how I could move. I turned my head to the other side and brought my hands up to my chest. I scrunch my face up at the temporary discomfort it caused. I was content to try and sleep more and took a deep breath trying to concentrate on the softness of the bed. It was quiet for a moment.

"Annabella," he said softly.

I turned my head to face him immediately with a deep breath. He was standing to the right of the bed now close beside me, his cape over most of his body, but I hadn’t hear him moving. He had a fresh suit and it was exactly the same.

"You O.D.ed. it's important to hydrate and nourish your body. there’s something to eat on the tray next to the counter and penty in the kitchen,” he says with no expression or emotion, and I just looked at him.

"how are you feeling?" he asked when I just kept staring at him. The last of my drowsiness was coming off and reality was really setting in.

"like I have no energy," I cleared my horse throat.

"The O.D. shocked your body. this with your injuries and no food or water for over twenty-six hours has weakened you substantially."

"I need a shower," was all I said.

"you should eat first to avoid falling," he countered, "lights: 60%," and the lights became brighter all around us, but not enough to hurt my eyes.

"I need a shower," I said again.

“The heat will make you faint,” he pressed, but I have the same expression of determination.

he walked out of my sight above me and it sounded like a fridge opened and shut. He came back to hand me a cold clear cup with a removable lid. it had a smoothie in it and this cup was huge.

"will you drink this first?" he asked and helped me sit up against the soft headboard.

I smelled, then tasted it. I didn't feel like eating, but the little I consumed ignited my stomach into hunger. I drank deeply, it was the best tasting protein smoothie I had ever had. I was feeling a little better already. He gave me a cold bottle of water and I drank down half of it. Now I really had to pee.

"where are we?" I looked around myself.

The glass wall in front of me was foggy and only a few feet away from the end of the bed. To the right was a work area that had all kinds of gadgets, then a small kitchen, hallway, huge work out area and came back around to the glass corner.

"a safe place."

"where are we?"

"I can't tell you that, for reasons I've explained in the past," his voice had gotten that mono tone he always had, level and calculated.

that didn't seem fair… or maybe just uneven. he knew everything about me, had seen me at my most vulnerable and he wouldn't even tell me where I was.

"why bring me somewhere you don't want me to know about?" I was a little frustrated.

"A hospital could cause further incidents and I knew what they drugged you with. there was nothing anyone could do. couldn't take you home, they could have friends that know of you. there is extensive medical equipment here as well and it is secure."

right, he’d needed medical attention, I just needed a little gauze. I thought about how he had cleaned and even taken the time to wrap my rope burns before he’d tended to himself at all. I couldn't see his injuries now, but he had needed a long row of stitches, had pulled a bullet out barely making any noise. I do remember this all pretty well.

"Th- thank you. i- i don't know what to say," my voice got a little timid feeling like I owed him now.

"you don't need to thank me. I'm sorry I wasn't there faster."

"but… that's not your fault. you... I saw you last night. you were shot, had a giant gash and were set on fire. I feel like you did everything right, you're alive," my voice was in disbelief.

"you were gone for over ten hours Annabella, it was unacceptable. I'm sorry," his voice was sharp now and harsh with offense at himself.

"are you kidding? can you not? you had a bullet in you… you had a wound that was like someone sliced you open, the temple of your mask had a giant crack over it, there were burns all the way up your body and you still came and helped me, but you say it was unacceptable. that's not right," I was getting a little angry now, I frowned at a pillow for a minute then shook my head at him.

he hadn't moved an inch, the parts of his face I could see were a mask in themselves like they often were. so focus almost… distracted… like there were a million things on his shoulders…

"what happened to you last night?" I asked a little apprehensively and quietly.

"Scarecrow was apprehended," was all he gave me.

"um..." suddenly I felt uncomfortable, like he didn't want to talk about that. I looked away for a moment feeling rude.

"I had something dropped off for you to change into if you wanted to shower. You may keep everything in the bag. I hope it will suffice for you," he said.

"I'm sure it will be better than this," I felt disgusted, “thank you.”

I went to sit up and stretch, but I was a lot stiffer than I thought and it was so painful. I also got a head rush and my eyes went a little dark for a second.

"whoa…" I let it fade before trying to get up. 

He came up to help me and it took me off guard a little. I was sober now or at least i think... I just felt like I wasn't 100% mentally or physically, but I was sure it had to be just how weak I was.

"take it slow," he put my good arm around his shoulder and his arm around my waist.

I didn't see why that was necessary until I tried to stand. He must have known it would take me a second to shake it off a bit once I got moving. I limped as the pressure on my hip took me off guard before I stood on it, then I remembered the rough car ride. I took in the room around me now. the glass wall i had seen in front of me was flogging enough that I couldn't tell where we were, only that it was dark out. the bed faced this glass wall and its frame only touched the ground at the top. to the left of the bed this foggy glass wall corner was glass as well for at least four feet.

in the left corner behind the bed there was a variety of compact gym equipment and to the left of the archway to the hallway was a modern kitchen. bars hung down from the ceiling in different locations and heights mixed in with the platforms and all kinds of things of that nature.... some were unbelievably high... I almost couldn't make out the roof.

to the left of the huge work out area was a large arch way and a kitchen in the opposite corner. we were rather close to this corner made of glass. to the right of the bed the rest of the room was a variety of tech. anything you could think of from gadgets, tools, monitors and control terminals. wires and disassembled things and also a few it seemed he was building from scratch… some of this stuff looked really complex.

There were books and manuals open in some places, but most of them were on a sleek bookshelf. parts of the walls near this work area had hand drawn sketches with blue prints. part of the wall had some kind of complicated code board. It was huge and had thumb tacks with strings connecting different documents and photos of people I didn't recognize. The only one I recognized was the iddler.

The glass had stopped at this part of the room so there was plenty of space for more photos and newspaper clippings, articles and documents I couldn't make out. There was even a part of the wall that had what I could only guess to be some kind of code wall. It looked like he was trying to crack it as certain numbers and letters were highlighted in different colors and there were more thumb tacks that connected some of them with string.

what looked like a simple chemistry area was on the edge of the subsection of this massive room. making my way back around to the bed, to the very right of it was the chair and counter he had sat at last night. there was nothing on it now though. the entire set up in the massive room was efficient and modern. everything served a purpose, even the placement of the bed was facing the window so it would wake you with natural light.

I looked up at him. He was already watching me, taking in my every movement. his eyes were tight as he regarded me suspiciously at how hard I took in my surroundings. I was studying him closely now too, somewhat thoughtful after taking in these things that told me a lot about him. I grasped he was holding me and now I blushed uncomfortably to look away with a frown. I looked to the exit in the room, the large archway which obviously led to the bathroom. He walked with me to the archway, there were two doors. He leads me through the one in front of us to a massive bathroom with a giant shower and bathtub. between them was a shelf filled with a variety of toiletries.

There was another shelf that was stacked with white clean towels. The counter had my purse I thought was gone from last night and a simple leather bag that was open. there were clothes to the brim and an unopened toothbrush next to it. he took my arm off of his shoulders and went to step away. I took in his hands more clearly now. They had the gloves on again and I turned them over in mine to examine them more closely.

they were so hard yet flexible like the rest of his suit. the palms and the tips of his fingers were the thinnest I had seen so far and felt almost human. he had brass knuckles build into his gloves as well as a small plate on the side of his palm. taking his hand slowly out of mine he drew them back as he watched me hard. I looked up to him with so much confusion and uncertainty.

"I'll be outside in case you fall," and he stepped back from me to shut me in the bathroom alone.

I dare not look in the mirror and grabbed the toothbrush and toothpaste to take them with me in the shower. Turning the water as hot as I can stand it to fog the mirrors as fast as possible, I took the hottest longest shower I’ve ever had. The water almost burned me and I was already getting faint. I was sitting on the bottom of the shower with my arms around my knees just contemplating everything after I got done washing every inch of me four times.

how was I supposed to have any kind of life with this type of danger looming over constantly? I mean, I thought I was doing okay. I stayed in the apartment all the time, have to keep my head down and go out at certain times of the day, but it was still a life. It was my life and I was just starting to get a little confidence in it that. was all of this too much to ask? I looked myself over. the answers were all over me.

no, I could not have any type of life without expecting these types of outcomes. so what? I'm supposed to go home and wait for the next attack to happen? for the one who manages to kill me or worse? or what? I could put myself into the control of another Johnny… Johnny was terrible, but I would rather it be him then someone I wasn't used to. I mean he was obviously rougher now, but i knew him.

The years had desensitized me to him. I sat my head up some at how messed up that was that i would consider that. I couldn't get anything out of my head that had happened. Everything ran through my mind constantly. It wasn't even possible to not think about it. It had a physical presence in my head, in my eyes and dominated my thoughts.

I got out to begin looking through the bag. Everything was brand new and my size. They were all my kind of clothes too. jeans, tee shirts, hooded jackets and scoop necks with undershirts. there were even a pair of boots in my size… and whoa… underwear and bras in a variety of sizes close to me... I was relieved he didn't know that at least.

I tried to avoid looking at myself as much as possible, but while I was washing I had taken in myself. I was covered in bruises though my right side was by far the worst. there was even hand prints on my breasts and a bite mark on my left nipple. When I cut the goss off my wrists and ankles, they were dark pink and red with purple bruises all around them with even a few places where the skin was rubbed off completely.

I began to cry as I tried to work through the bag. I rubbed my forehead and took a deep breath not sure how I was supposed to act after something like this. even taking a shower had felt so weird after being through something so violating. I felt like a stranger in my own skin because they made it theirs. their marks were all over me… without meaning to; I looked down at my naked form.

all over me... hand prints and bruises and bite marks.... Everything would serve as a constant reminder of what they had done to me. I still couldn’t look in the mirror, besides it was foggy still. It took some time to collect myself enough to come out. I hesitated at the door, unsure how to act so I tiptoed out of the bathroom and into the main room. It’s so hard to face him after him seeing me in such a pitiable and disgusting position. I’m so embarrassed and ashamed...

I peeked around the corner and he was standing in front of the glass wall that was made out of the glass corner from the front glass wall. He faced me then and came to meet me, gestured for me to sit at the round table in the kitchen area. I sat hesitantly and shot a questionable look at him.

"I’m going to provide you a more secure place to stay, in addition to female guard when you leave. you will have complete freedom and privacy and the location is safer," he was saying everything so casually… like this wasn't a huge thing… "it will help prevent something like this from happening again. I’ll do everything in my power to protect you, but you will always be at risk, Annabelle.

“The men from last night had been watching you. it was premeditated, though he acted on impulse before their planned attack. I’m sorry I didn't try to take more precautions sooner. After everything with Johnny space I know this isn't a choice you want to make," he ended it now. his eyes open, every word sincere in their hardness as he spoke with his emotionless voice.

I gawked at him, my mouth had dropped and I closed it. What did all this really mean? he had used the word choice, but did I really have a choice? Johnny always said I had a choice, up until the day I spoke of leaving. even if he wouldn't force me into anything, i was just thinking in the shower about how i couldn't have any type of real independence without the risk being high for an attack. I was almost ready to accept the help of a rapist just because I was familiar with him.

but this was batman… out of all the men that would offer something like this wouldn’t he be the one you would want to? let's be real. If you wanted anyone on your side it was the guy who took bullets like a bee bee gun round. granted that could turn out to be a bad thing in the future, but what if it didn't? what if he continued to be this perfect gentleman who respects me and my boundaries and never acted like he owed me?

Then of course all of his intentions were irrelevant no matter how I looked at it. This curse meant his intentions might never truly be his own, no matter how pure they were. Despite all of these things, how could I live with being such a burden? it would cost so much money to pay for a place in a nice area in Gotham and female bodyguards worth anything… No, what am I, a puppy? it's too much, I just couldn't handle being more of a burden than I already was on him.

Not only all of this, but I could never take advantage of him like this. I would also be giving up and that was just something I couldn’t swallow. He also was Batman and if I accepted this, then that meant I really was that hopeless, that I had given up so completely on independence. It would make it official that I couldn't do it, that I needed to be looked after like Johnny had always told me.

"why are you doing this?" I blurted out. then I felt worried because I hadn't shown appreciation. Only a question that I spat at him like I was accusing him of ulterior motives.

"it's what I do,” he stated simply.

"protect and take in strays?" I tried to ask a little bolder, but failed pathetically.

"protect the innocent. all of this will serve that purpose. you are a special case," … his shoulders were huge and I glanced his huge frame over. He tilted his head at me and his eyes tighten at my hard studying him.

"But I'm just one girl!" I jumped up then and my hands came down on the table.

Pain shot through my shoulder and I yelped loudly to sit down again. I looked down at my hands. I knew they had been shaking, but now i realized just how badly they had been. my right wrist was missing a wide patch of skin on the side... I stared at this now as I lifted my wrist, a disturbed expression coming over my face.

He reached to grab something behind him and came to take a knee in front of me. He cautiously took my wrist out from the air where it hovered as I gawked at the missing skin. He begin wrapping it, then wrapped the other. I looked at him still in shock as he took each of my feet to put them on top of his thigh to wrap them as well.

"Your life is as valuable as anyone else's and I will take precautions to protect it," his voice was final.

It was that second voice I was hearing again. I might be able to still decline the offer, but he wouldn't do nothing. on some levels it frightened me and on others it thrilled me.

"you don't get it..." he had me so stunned at the emotion in his voice. I was looking at the table again.

"please help me understand," now his voice was softer.

it sent my stomach doing flips in a way I didn't comprehend. it was uncomfortable and yet… exciting almost… We looked into each other's eyes again. His were so dark, so dark I didn't see how it could be possible for eyes to be that dark. Then I remembered last night they were icy blue. his mouth was a bit slack now as it seems he has lost focus for a moment, but before I could be sure he stood and was back to his double mask. he turned away to grab a sling to put around my neck and put my arm in it as I continued to stare at him.

"I don't know how..." I said in a whisper.

"please try," his voice back to normal, his usual mono tone. 

He waited for me to collect my thoughts. I had to look away from him for that… There were so many reasons. some of them would make me feel very vulnerable if shared. for the second time I decided I would do this. I would share most, if not all of these things and choose to make myself vulnerable to this man. I didn't fully understand this much beyond that some of the reason I was doing it was because of how much he had helped me already and that it just felt right. this and also because I wanted to trust him and I wanted him to trust me. I fantasized about him reassuring me I was wrong.

"because it's a burden! because it's too much! it's always been too much! attention, isolation, the attacks and protection. trade offs and hostil kidnappings and sexual assault," i was crying softly now and swiped the tears angrly out of my way. my voice was growing in volume the more I spoke. I expected him to stop me from working myself up, but he listened 

"And now this," I gestured to him aggressively, "I'm such a paria the Batman himself feels the need to not only offer me protection, but now he wants to set me up with guards and a place. Look at you! you're a living legend who stalks the night for super criminals in the city with the most organised crime in the world!

“Your priorities include biological terrorist, serial killers, and mother nature herself, but here I am. doing this won't save hundreds of lives or even fifty. you were in such bad shape last night, and you were frustrated because you weren't there sooner… don’t you get it! You almost died and that's what you are upset about?! it just makes me feel..." I was sobbing now, "I don't understand this, i don't understand this and I don't want you swept up in this madness too.

“no, you have enough on your plate than to be dealing with someone unwilling seductress..." I began looking at my hands again as they were still shaking violently while I held them in front of me, "i can't- you don't- motives..." 

I couldn't get out any more for a second, I began feeling like I was speaking in circles. I wasn't crying anymore, but I felt so afraid... I was afraid to be touched or looked at, of my future and the inmate violence I felt coming. He said nothing, just continued to look at me though his poster did seem a little stiffer than usual.

"I'm afraid of this," I was looking at my hands again and I pushed them towards him while looking into his eyes, the tears thick in my vision, "I can't trust anything. I can't trust you because I can't trust myself… so that's it. thank you… again, and I’m sorry you’re being dragged into the mess, but that's it," I folded my hands across my chest then realised I had in the most roundabout way possible said no.

"don't apologize. none of this is your fault and you used the word burden. I’ve dedicated my life to protecting the innocent. This is not my home and money is of no consequence. your influence is irrelevant in my reaction to timing. I would fight through the same circumstances for anyone in danger.

“I did not almost die, I assure you, but I was very far away and unconscious. my support was aiding my partner in finding me and my partner is not aware of you. you don't need to question my motives," he was coming closer to me and took a knee in front of me again.

"you don't need to be afraid of yourself. I see you, Annabella, for you, not what you fear I see," he took my hand, "the choices people have forced upon you shouldn't influence your choices now. try and remain unbiased in your decision. this is dangerous and you can’t ignore this and I won't. I know it's asking a lot after a lifetime of betrayal, but if I can't convince you to trust yourself, trust me.

“I’ll take precautions to protect and prevent incidents in the future regardless, but they won't be what you need unless you consent to things I won't do without your permission. so please, take time to decide. it is 7:38 p.m, I need to leave to follow up on something. there’s cameras everywhere in the loft except the bathroom. will you be okay here until sunrise?"

I was floored. I’d never heard him speak in so many words before… use so much passion. he had said please… and didn't sum up everything in 20 words or less... I had a moment of realization that i was sitting in Batman's safe house talking to Batman because Batman had saved me from… oooohhh. I felt his hands on my arms to steady me before I fell over. I laid my head on the table to try and stop it from spinning.

"you need food, what would you like?"

"no food," I mumbled, nauseous now.

"there’s plenty of food in the kitchen. you won't feel any better until you eat. you may leave, but will be locked out. the loft will execute a controlled burn to purge data," he seemed a little rushed all of the sudden.

"um yeah, i'll try and eat something soon… but um… where are they?" I asked quietly, I had to know.

"in the jail infirmary. they will go away for life. there is more than enough evidence of other crimes they’ve committed to put them away without a testimony from you," he said this darkly, "the video is with the other, in my database, but no one has seen it and no one will."

“you promise?" my face flushed and I got clammy all over. I lifted my head from the table with fresh tears in my eyes, “that no one’s seen it or will see it?”

It revolted me that he had a copy of it and that his support had access. I wanted to fight him about it, be brave enough to be honest and express how upset and violate this really made me feel. No one should have it, it should be destroyed. It didn’t matter if he kept it for evidence like the police. Police keep everything too because you never know when something could become relevant again, but I don't care. Out of everything he had done for me this was the only thing I felt sincerely betrayed over. It wasn’t right and wondered if I could ever convince him to get rid of it. I also felt a little sore about the rape kit, but glade he did it.

"I promise," he grabbed my head to pull me into his chest and hugged me for a long moment before standing. His voice was softer again, "contact me in case of an emergency."

"I'll be back around sunrise," he turned to walk to the foggy glass and it slid open, "the elevator is here," he points around where his wall assorted documents began, “it will take you straight out. you may use the number on the fridge to call a car that can take you home if you wish. code name: batman. guest code:394."

"command confirmed," a computer somewhere said.

A foggy divider came out of the wall to close off the section of the room with all of his work. He walked out the door, it closed behind him, but it looked like he was going for the balcony… he disappeared and left me alone at the table.

................................................................................................................................................

After he’d left me there for a while and I’d calmed down,, I made a general breakfast. Eggs, bacon with some toast, but I was only able to eat a third of what I made before my stomach started cramping. After washing, drying, and putting away everything I stood there with my hands on the counter already beginning to panic, my mind not occupied. I felt tired... I didn't understand how that was possible, but I was.

I had no idea what they had given me, but it zapped all the energy right out of me. I still didn't see how i could sleep or relax right now. I wanted to be somewhere more open… I made my way thro the sliding glass balcony door to check out the patio. It was small and simple with two chairs. I had no idea where we were because there was a foggy sheet over the opening for the patio to keep me from seeing the city…

I just scoft as I shook my head. He was definitely paranoid. I could hear the wind outside and I wanted it. I went to the edge to try and see if i could see thro any seems from the glass or maybe pull it back enough to make one. It was solid. I sighed and went inside to lay down on the bed. It was the softest bed I’d ever been in and Johnny's bed was like a cloud. to my surprise I was beginning to dirft asleep.

I didn't get very far though before flashes began to overtake me completely. I sat up drawing my knees up and grabbing my head with my good arm while I squeezed my eyes shut. there was no way I could sleep yet, i would have nightmares. I decided to have a better look around. I was curious about my environment and a place that he stayed at. After I made my way around, I went through the bag more closely. These clothes were expensive… holy cow. I could just tell by touching them. I decided to take a bubble bath and face looking myself really over. looking in the mirror, my left cheek bone had a horrible bruise that went around my entire eye.

It was puffy, but I was grateful it wasn't swollen shut. the skin had broken on my cheek some and my neck had thumb prints. After closer inspection I made out two hand prints around my throat, not just thumbs. A flashback of him choking me while he lifted me off the bed slowly to him flashed in my head so hard I had to grab the counter to keep from falling over.

I lifted my right arm to look over my right side more, I swear I could make out footprints... I put it down and looked away for a moment to collect myself. I was determined to get this over with in one sweep. I took in my torso in the body length mirror now. I had a hand print on one breast that was very distinguishable. My other breast just had finger marks here and there with general bruising.

There was a bite mark on one and it had a clear row of top and bottom teeth around my nipple. The memory of me waking up to see the top of his head over me went through me. He looked up to me as the eye contact excited him even more and he undid his pants. I started crying silently. my bottom lip kept flexing up like a child about to cry who was fighting it. I bit my tongue to keep it from breaking through then turned to look at my back.

I gave up. What was the point? I got thrown around a van, kicked the crap out of and almost raped. That’s what I was seeing. I turned away wanting to clean myself again even though my hair was still damp from my last shower. I wanted a long hot bubble bath, but he didn't have any bubble soap. I guess I should have seen that coming. He did have some lavender oil... I'll take it. I threw my hair up and drew a hot bath. man my shoulder hurt so bad, especially when it was out of it’s sling. I held it up with my right hand like I had been before he gave it to me.

I had to be very careful with it and doing everything one handed was getting old already. looking terrible, I wanted to avoid the public until I could cover it up with make-up, but I just felt like I was putting him out so much already and honestly a little unsure about all this completely. I got out to dress and began to wonder where his clothes were... I came back into the main room and went to bed. the back of the headboard was a dresser.

I wanted to look thro them so badly, but I could never invade his privacy like that, plus there was cameras in here. I laid down and looked at the ceiling. it was high and had even more bars and platforms above me. This guy was something else. I didn’t see how he could really be human. the things he did, how graceful he walked and how he made no sound when he did.

The things I’d witnessed him do… like that leap… he literally jumped across the entire room… and how he was still standing after being shot and even carrying me despite all of his injuries. I mean he barely reacted to it the entire time. I know he said he was human and i could swallow that easily if it was one or even two of these things, but when I step back to really analyze it all… it just didn’t add up.

I rested my heavy eyes, having no intention of going to sleep, but my mind and body had other plans.

_this dream is different from the others… The footsteps behind me gain instead of staying at the same pace until I find somewhere to hide. I hide, then go mad from them all screaming for me so I go out to them. I feel ribs break from how hard they grab me before I wake up. I look over my shoulder, something I never do in this recurring dream. He breaks out into a run after me and I scream to rush forward away from him._

_I see darkness ahead, not in an alley. The street just goes dark beyond us where no light can cut thro. It is so dark that it appears not to be simple darkness, but instead a physical wall that is painted black and that goes on forever in all directions. I push my legs towards it with everything I got. I know this darkness is my only hope which doesn’t make a lot of sense, being that he will see where I hide this time so hiding serves no purpose anymore._

_this darkness will scare me like always because i can not see, but neither can they and now i know there is something in the darkness that can see. something that owns the darkness and the night. I knew this was my only chance. then I saw him, the only person it could have been. the light came over his body like it would in a dramatic movie scene._ _there he stood. incorruptible, an idea, a symbol, everything we all wish to be. incorruptible, fearless, brave, disciplined, in control and most importantly strong enough to take on the world with his bare hands. He seemed to notice me, taking in me and the man behind me almost like he was looking thro us._

_He took off forward to meet me. my excitement pushed me forward, now more eager knowing he was impatient to get to me too. His eyes were intense and focused as he barreled towards us. He would catch me, he would stop this man and hold me not because he felt bad or because he felt obligated to calm me like he had been before. He was doing it because he wanted to hold me too. I practically flew horizontally at him as I pushed through the last stride that would send me flying into him. everything seemed to move in slow motion then. I fell forward as he blew right past me and I turn my head as I am falling to watch him never break stride. his expression never changed nor did his body language. He must have been going straight for my assailant, right?_

_No. he passed him in the same manner as me. I rolled on the ground to my back after I fell. my hands flew up to protect myself as johnny descended upon me. the attack went on forever as they tore at my clothes so hard it hurt. As soon as there was an opening big enough for him to get through, he raped me over and over, finishing on my face, my stomach or even inside of me. I glanced away and when he forced my face back to him it was someone different. As the attack went on, they changed to men i recognized and to men i had never seen. They were of all different shapes, sizes and temperaments. Some looked apologetic, like they couldn’t help what they were doing. Some laughed and others just pushed my face away, not wanting me to look at them at all._

_When I fought, some enjoyed it and some react more violently. I screamed and begged for Batman, but no matter how loud I could manage or how hard I reached for him, he never once looked back. He was running away from us, but somehow never making any progress. I kept thinking this time… this time if i scream loud enough he will help me. Eventually I came to the realization that he was indifferent to my suffering. He’d heard me the entire time, but I never gave up hope. how could i when he was right in front of me. After a while I was limp with exhaustion, the attack having gone on hours… the one over me now slapped at me to provoke some fight to make it more interesting._

_My face just went from side to side from the strikes and I left it wherever the hit did. It was over. even though I had no major injuries that would kill me in the real world this isn't the real world. I knew if it went on much longer I would die slowly under them. he wouldn't let me die… right? as if he could read my thoughts he got out his grapple gun to fire it upwards. The cord snapped straight and he flew thro the night like a bullet to peak in height and use his cape to glide a good distance before rounding a building out of my sight for good. I shut my eyes against the warm thick liquid that was falling on my face in large drops. I looked up. it was the man from last night. the one who had held my legs open and asked me if I was a virgin_

_'see? now we are getting into the fun stuff,' he flattened his hand on my face and rubbed it in._

_then it changed into the man after him from that night and he was coming down to put my legs together over one of his shoulders. He pushes inside of me, so painfully, but I can't even scream anymore. He pushes my legs to fold against my torso to come on top of me._ screaming i came up so hard stabbing pain shot through me. It stunned me into a choked cry. I felt hard arms come around me gently to catch me before i jerked backwards to throw myself back onto the bed in reaction to the pain. my eyes were squeezed shut as i was lowered. I open them to adjust to the light. Batman let me go and held his hands up for me to see.

"you were having a nightmare, I attempted to wake you without startling you," he appeared uneasy.

I was sweating all over and shaking. that dream was the worst I’ve ever had… it was so graphic and… and so freaking real. my breaths were rigid and i felt irrationally furious and disgusted with him. how could he leave me like that? I felt my face twist into betrayal and pain as my cheeks flooded with blood. I checked myself over, pushing my sleeves up and even looking at my ankles. then I pushed my shirt over my stomach enough to check that as well. Nothing… just the same bruises and they didn't match the ones from the attack in my dream. Holy cow that was so real. I covered my face and took a deep breath.

"just a nightmare," he said, a little soft. I looked in his eyes now, he looked at me hard like he was waiting for me to curse him out or something.

"why are you looking at me like that?" I glanced around a bit.

"You look angry with me and you just woke up from a nightmare. I assume it’s because I was in it," he answered in a monotone.

he was good... I was angry about the nightmare though... I couldn't explain it. it was just the emotions were still so fresh. I noticed tears in my eyes, wiped them away and caught my breath. it staggered and I hyperventilated a few times.

"I can't explain it," I laughed a few times, overjoyed that it really wasn’t real, "sorry, I'm just so glad it wasn't real. you were a real jerk and it was a long one."

intense curiosity sparked in his eyes, but was quickly smothered out before I could be sure. He sat in the chair next to the bed.

"And my role?" he asked, very polite.

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head a little at him. My mouth was open and my eyebrows were crunched up disturbed.

"while you were assaulted?" he asked, his voice low.

I nodded my head and heat flooded my cheeks. I wanted nothing more right now for him to tell me something like that would never happen. It was irritating just like my anger at him from the dream. He has saved me four times already and was offering to help protect me, but I just really needed to hear it.

"I would never ignore your suffering. I’ll always fight under any circumstances to help you Annabella, to my last breath. never doubt this," he said this low, but with such conviction i expected it without hesitation with a few nods.

There was something… I couldn't place my finger on it. there was something in his voice that I felt like should have sent up a red flag under normal circumstances and by normal I mean if i was a normal girl on a date. not saying this is a date, but as a female that level of… what sounded like… possession maybe?

It should scare me… it doesn't. sometimes I almost get the feeling like he’s been watching ever since that night we first met. again, no reaction. in a way it thrills me. not because someone was watching me, but the possibility that someone was looking out for me regardless of the circumstances. I guess it goes back to the whole maybe i would be better off with johnny if he was the only attacker i would have to deal with… Christ. What is wrong with me?

"Thank you, it's nice to feel like I can trust you when you say that," and I cleared my eyes of the last bit of tears.

he nodded once at me and I got the feeling like he understood the true value of trust. He raised his arm in front of him and started at the space for a moment… then I noticed something flickering in his pupils. I could barely see it, but there was something....

"Keep me updated and don’t go past 4th," he flat out ordered and lowered his arm.

I leaned in closer without meaning to. He watched me curiously and when I got close enough that we were only a foot apart he began to lean away from me, looking a little uncomfortable, but mostly suspicious.

"Why did your eyes change? do you wear contacts?" I asked abruptly and leaned back onto the bed.

"I’m surprised you remembered that," was all he said. He was regarding me extremely hard now with even more suspicion.

"Do the contacts work with the hologram I can't see on your arm?" I pushed a little further, curiosity practically burning me.

his eyes tightened at me and he didn't answer.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ask something so personal," I said a little low, I felt extremely rude now asking something that was obviously very personal for him.

"May I ask you some questions?" he asked me now abruptly ignoring my question and apology.

"Go ahead," I gestured to him with a sigh. He already knew almost everything about me.

"Has anyone tried to make any kind of contact with you since the first night we met?" he asked.

"no, I'm assuming you mean in a weird way like last time?"

"anyone," he pushed.

"nothing besides support groups type stuff from sister Judiths," I thought a little harder to be sure.

"have you spoken about me to anyone?" he was studying me hard.

"no. besides the girls from the home I don't talk to anyone," I said, sounding like a loser, then I remembered something, “there is this one girl who called to ask about you. She wanted to know if we had spoken sense that night, but I told her no. It was three weeks ago. I think she has a harmless crush on you. We all agree on that in group.”

He watched me for a moment longer studying my response very hard. I frowned a little, glancing around feeling unsure. Dang… this being alone with him was… really intense and… nerve racking.

"the contacts are for private images. The color is to help protect my identity. if I am too tired I have to remove them," he answered my question from earlier.

I lit up, thrilled he trusted me enough with this information. Now he looked almost… distrustful. his posture was a little stiffer than usual, but perfect as always.

"You can trust me ya know," I smiled a little timid, then put my head down.

smiling at a man was always followed by bad feelings. I peeked at him and he was focused on me now, but not in the same way as before. He looked almost like he was looking for something… his eyes tightened at me and he looked down at my lips for a moment, then back to my eyes.

"you want to ask me something else," it was a statement.

"I’m curious about you,” I say mousey, “You know so much about me. I feel like I don't know you at all.”

"I will answer in the most appropriate way possible," he replied.

"Appropriate?"

"there are things I will not share or even lie about," he told me. okay… at least he was honest about that bit.

"well... I know you wear a mask for a reason, but is there another name I can call you besides Batman?" I sounded sarcastic, but I really wanted to know his name.

"nothing that isn't ridiculous."

"there has to be something else," I raised my eyebrows at him. he shook his head stiffly, "Batman it is then, sense your name is off the table?"

I tried to keep it light, but he remains stiff as ever and nodded, his expression very serious. I could tell he didn't like me prying into that subject so I considered that one closed, indefinitely.

"how do you feel? you were in rough shape," I shifted to lean against the headboard as I tried to understand what was happening right now.

We were having a conversation… not talking about my case, not comforting or speaking to serve a purpose… just talking...

"I should be asking you that,” he reassures me.

"I didn't need stitches or have a bullet wound, but i am fine thank you," my tone sounded a little dark.

"I’m fine as well," it was hard to believe, but he appeared completely fine as he sat before me.

"well you don't look shaken for someone who was on fire," I was sceptical, but he did look unfazed.

"had worse," he shrugged slightly, his cape over his massive shoulders.

I looked in the sharp opening that started at his chest, the slit growing in size as it revealed more of his tone body. what a simply impressive display of discipline.

"what could be worse than being set on fire?" I gaucked, mouth open in a horrified frowed. I realised how rude it was and got control of my features.

"almost anything you can think of," he said this like it was nothing.

"almost drowned?"

"Yes,"

"Electrocuted?"

"repeatedly," he sounded almost bored, "that's not worse."

"well I'm sorry, but I'm having a hard time thinking of something worse than drowning or being on fire. those are the two big ones besides the gory stuff, psychological torture, or starvation," that was hard to imagine, just saying it pulled my eyebrows together.

he didn't even blink, his lack of reaction somewhat telling me he had been thro at least one of these as well. guilt and embarrassment washed through me. I felt so insensitive, but I wanted to understand how someone could cope with tragedy so well seeing as how I was not.

"think nothing of it, else they win," and he didn't.

"how? why?" I wanted to know so badly and he really didn't seem to mind talking about it even if dragging answers out of him was like pulling teeth, "how did it happen? how do you.. how can you..?”

I shook my head a bit back and forth. I wanted to know whatever secret allowed him to push past tragedies and hope it can help me push past my own.

“hesitate or let emotions cloud your judgement, people die. Those closest to me have suffered for this. Before you make your decision, you need to understand the gravity of how much danger you’re putting yourself in. knowing me regardless of distance could get you killed or worse. I’m careful, but some opponents are relentless and skilled in intelligence the same way I am. they would use anything to gain knowledge, hurt or even just anger me. in bringing you here I’ve already put you in danger.

“If you are going to stay one more night, you are trading one risk for another. If you consent to me helping you, I can reduce chances of an attack from common assault greatly. This depends on what precautions you’re willing to take, but much more extreme individuals could cross your path. The amount of contact could be irrelevant. these types of people Annabella," his lips wrapped around my name like a flame around a match.

it made my chest burn, this new feeling always took me off guard. his lips parted as it seemed he lost concentration for a moment, then back into a hard line. Taking a deep breath, he continued.

"These types of people are capable of inflicting irreversible mental and physical damage worse than your average criminal. I’m sorry this has to be such a hard choice between two evils," his voice sounded regretful. I could tell he was finished now.

I wasn't sure how to react… he had given me a similar speech on the rooftop, but this was way more in depth. it was daunting, but if I forced myself to look past that, any chance to get to see him without it being horrific circumstances sounded… nice. the consequences he had laid out for me if i chose to stay though were infallible, of course, but they just didn't scare me as much as it should.

I could only think of seeing him again… all I saw was how safe I felt when I was near him and the smell of his sheets brought on the same comfort in a way… I drew them up over my mouth to hide my face in embarrassment at that, not thinking about putting the very cause of my current embarrassment where it can cause further embarrassment. the scent washed through me, musky yet clean and manly. my cheeks burned as the smell sent impulsive thoughts through my head. Like how I want so badly to smell the source of the scent and like how It only wet my appetite for general curiosity about him. I jerked it down, and hid my face with my hands.

no matter how badly I wanted to stay i just couldn't bring myself to be comfortable with all of this. I felt so out of place… in the way. I couldn't put him out any more. it killed me to have to tell him no, but also what if seeing me more frequently resulted in behavior neither of us could be prepared for? I mean it took years before Johnny started being cruel or inappropriate.

He was looking at me curiously now like he wanted to ask what was wrong, but I wouldn't dare. I was terrified he would hit me with a bombardment of questions like he had on the rooftop.

"I'm sorry, but i can't be baby sat forever. I am so grateful for everything you’ve done, but think I should go home," I sounded so small, like I knew I would be shot down and was scared that I was. Every vibe I got off of him told me I really was free to leave, but I still feared repercussions.

"okay. I don’t think it’s best though," he countered.

Shock spread across my features. He didn't argue with me or try to manipulate me or even try to convince me otherwise. He didn't question my decision, instead he respected and accepted it. What is happening?

"why not? they are in jail, right?" A little bit of fear went through me.

"yes, but it’s an unnecessary risk. Can I convince you to stay for one more night? I would like you to have more time to think it over," he asked politely. The tone surprised me because I wasn't used to him using any amount of tone in his voice unless I was very upset.

"Please," he added just as polite.

My mouth dropped in shock. How could I refuse? He just said please… the more I got to know him the more he surprised me.

"okay...?" it sounded like a question and I chuckled a little with a smile without meaning to.

It was a smile that had wonder in it. I was bewildered by him. I loved that he wanted me to stay just one more night... the sky was starting to turn a lighter shade of purple.

"do you need anything before I leave? I’ll have it put at the glass door," he asked like he was about to leave right this second.

"um… no, I'm fine. thank you."

"if it is unlocked you may go through it. I’ll be back tomorrow after dark to hear your decision. you will be taken home after if you wish," he watched me for a moment to see if I would ask a question and turned to leave out the patio exit.

as soon as I was sure he was gone I brought the sheets back to my face and inhaled like a weirdo. wow… he had the most amazing smell I have ever experienced. it made me feel weird. I just don't understand it. I grunted at myself in frustration as my inside felt unsettled and just… I don’t know… stirred… . this was an unbearable feeling... I can't breathe! Then I remembered I was on camera… I covered my face in alarm. God I’m an idiot!

I looked at the clock on the wall… so early. I spend my day just wandering around the loft trying to stay busy. I started to go through things. I couldn't help it. I was so bored and he said if it was unlocked I could go through it. as I made my way through everything. I found general household items and when I got to his dresser in the back of the head board I had to. The shirts were very nice materials no matter what I found.

There were simple tee shirts and drawstring pants that were suitable for working out or lounging around. some of them were obviously work out stuff by the cut and material… he really was that big... it wasn't all his costume. When I got to the drawer with his boxer briefs I slammed them shut feeling ashamed as I flush hot all over. After that I began patting surfaces for secret hidden storage compartments that would come out of the floor or wall. I may not have heard him say that there were secret compartments, or seen any, but he definitely seems like the type to have things hidden everywhere.

I took my time using my fingertips to drag them over surfaces, feeling for seems I couldn't see. I knocked on the walls looking for false doors and hollow surfaces. I even moved the books around on his shelf. I was crawling around on the ground for the third time padding around myself and knocking on the ground with my ear to the floor with my butt in the air.

"ugh, this is so stupid!" I laid down on his bed, wincing at the pain it caused. if he could see me i wondered if he would be angry or laughing.

After a while I cleaned a few things around his place. it wasn't dirty, just felt like it was a good way to try and show my appreciation. I didn't get very far before I needed to eat breakfast. I realized I could go no further even after I ate. I was in too much pain and felt fatigued. Besides, everything was already so clean. As night came, slower than it should have, I became restless. I knew he wouldn't be back until the following night, but I couldn't help it.

the next day was even worse. I was beginning to get comfortable here, that was a bad sign. it would be harder later to leave… I looked up from the book I was reading while sitting on the bed. I was reading one of his books: war and peace. He was standing right in front of me. I screamed and threw it at him as hard as I could and covered my head for a second. He caught it out of the air so fast I didn't even see it.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"why do you do that?" I asked. I was panting hard and shaking.

"it's natural to me," he said.

I looked him up and down. I was still gripping the sheets and I was tense.

"have you rethought your decision?" He added.

"Yes, but i still think i should go home," I said low and mousey. He had accepted my decision yesterday morning without hesitation. now I was scared it might have all been for show again.

"may I ask why?" he asked.

"because I just got too... I gotta try Batman... a part of me wants to. I really do, but being on my own was something I've never had and i don't want them to take that away from me."

I wanted him to understand it wasn't him. He nodded once and walked behind me to grab the bag he’d given me. I already had it packed so I could leave asap before his presence alone persuaded me to stay. He held out his hand to help me out of the bed.

"I have a car waiting for you," he said and it all seemed so simple.

This man who was under my influence, heavily i think, who had gone through drastic lengths to protect and convince me to take even more precautions that would inconvenience him already had a car waiting… the glass door closed behind us and I turned to him. I wasn't sure I would see him again… and if I did it would probably be bad circumstances more than likely…

"goodbye," he said simply.

I couldn't bear for a parting to be so impersonal. I knew that we had only been brought together by his line of work, but I still felt a connection to him that went beyond our circumstances. He'd helped me so much and I felt so close to him like I’d never felt towards another person. I came in to hug him fast enough it hurt me and he lifted his arms out from his side like he always did when i came at him.

I hugged him with my good arm as his body tense under me and he leaned away. He relaxed and wrapped his arms around me leaning into the hug. I felt so warm all over and just... right. I wished I could just stay in his arms like this forever, but things were not that simple. People don't just have that kind of consistent physical contact without a relationship or sexual tension and sex would never be an option for me. Besides, I was broken. I wasn't sure I could emotionally be with a man, at least not now.

He released me, bringing me back to the real world. I slowly backed away from him to try and make the moment last as long as possible. The act of actually turning away to get in the elevator was so hard and pressing the button to close the doors was even harder. He watches me as hard as I watch him as the elevator door closes, cutting off our vision. Just before they did I saw his eyes tighten and his head tilted to the side. 

I went down the elevator which took me into an underground parking garage. There was a single black car with a lady waiting. She smiled warmly but said nothing and opened the door for me. I hesitantly got in the back and she closed it. She got in the front and turned around to face me.

“I was given your address, but was also instructed to take you wherever you like,” she said to me politely with a professional smile.

“Um... No that's where I want to go thank you,” I smiled hesitantly back.

“No problem,” She smiles again, “here's my card, whenever you need me it doesn't matter what time it is. I can normally be ready in 20 minutes.”

“Oh… um thank you but I can barely afford a cab,” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Oh, everything's been handled by Mr. Blake, so you might as well take advantage,” She shrugged and turned forward.

I just stared at the back of her head for a moment. He had already hired her to transport me around full time... And not only that but she called him Mr. Blake…

“You know him? Mr. Blake I mean?” I was floored.

He had taken measures to keep me from being able to see off the balcony, but now driving out of this underground garage I also knew where we were. This didn't make any sense.

“Oh no,” She kept her eyes on the road now, “only spoke to him on the phone, but he did have a very nice older gentleman to speak with me in more detail about my qualifications.”

“Qualifications?” I asked.

“Well this isn’t a normal car service. We are highly trained security as well. Got to say I was surprised when there was a request for a female. Normally clients prefer men.”

“Security? I- I don't need security,” I responded shaking my head as my voice roise at the lie. She made eye contact with me in the rear view mirror.

“Ma'am, I mean no disrespect but whenever you lie to someone you gotta keep your voice more even,” She looked back to the road to turn on her blinker and make a turn at a red light.

“Yeah… I've always been bad at lying. So what do you know?” I was almost too scared to ask.

“I know enough. psycho ex boyfriend who won't leave you alone. In a gang so got plenty of backup. Don't worry though, I used to be special oops. I can take on up to seven guys at one time so it won't be a problem.”

I sat in silence for the rest of the drive, contemplating everything like was that really his name? Why not let me see where the loft is only to have me see it when I leave? And this whole car service bodyguard thing… The whole reason I left was because I didn't want to be a burden. Here he was paying for an expensive car service, how is that not a burden? This is so messed up, it's not fair to him. He must feel so obligated to take care of me because of this stupid thing I have.

Either that or he was so strongly under my influence he didn't have a choice. Or both… of course there is a third reason. He could just be like a good person… that is just so hard to wrap my head around. A man doing something for me simply because it's right and they wanted to, not because they have to or feel like they have to in some form. a week later when I was finally desperate enough to leave my apartment for groceries despite the bruises on my cheek still being obvious, there was a woman standing outside my door. I glanced around and shifted my weight uncomfortable because she was looking at me like she had a very specific purpose.

"hi! I was sent by our mutual friend to lend a hand if needed. He wanted me to express that I will be discreet and respect your privacy," she spoke so professionally, "My name is Skylar."

She was Asia and her thin long black hair was in a casual ponytail. thin lips, flat, tight, cute, sparkling, green eyes and large cheek bones for her race. She was also very pretty. Most Asian women are, at least to me, but she was truly gorgeous.

"W- what?" was all I had. I looked around some more sure she had to be talking to someone else.

"ya know Batman," she whispered as she smiled then winked at me with a giggle, "not supposed to talk about it.”

"um… what exactly are you supposed to be doing?"

"Well he tells me ya got a gift for attracting unwanted attention. says you’ll be really mad, but that he would… less see what did he say 'take precautions regardless' honestly i think he's trippin. he's a paranoid one, but I owe him big time. Plus the pay is crazy."

my mouth gaped open. how could I even react to this big enough… he’d already put a driver/bodyguard on his payroll and now this? Where is the line? I mean how much money has he spent at this point on me? Not only that, but he told me he wasn't going to tell anyone! After a few seconds she was the one shifting uncomfortably now.

"You okay hun? looks like you’re having an episode of some kind."

"what all did he tell you?" I asked rushed and I grabbed her shoulder with my good hand.

"whoa! take it down a beat! all he told me was you have an influence over men. It can provoke bad reactions sometimes and you need someone to watch your back. said he would only tell me enough to be aware of what I was up against. said it could be lots of different reactions, so to just be prepared."

I backed away and looked to the side pondering what she had just said.

"jez he said you would panic, but you might need to sit down," she seemed a little unsure what to do next.

"No thank you," I said in a hollow voice and turned to go down my apartment stairs.

"it's kinda happeeeeninnngg sooo yeeeeah," She drew out the last three words so long I turned slowly to scowl at her.

"what is it with you people? I understand you’re trying to help me so I wear the bracelet, spill my guts out and you go and tell someone after telling me you won't. then there's the videos. which by the way i am still pissed about it and now this? can you just not?" I knew none of that would make sense to her, but it came out like word vomit.

"um..." Was all she said.

I turned away from her to go to my favorite little grocery store two blocks away and she followed me everywhere. I approached the conversation of how uncomfortable I was with her being near me in every way I could think until I felt like I was talking myself blue in the face. I tried to make her understand how dangerous it was. No matter where I went, unless it was in my apartment, she followed. I couldn't bear to see her hurt or killed because of me. the same reason I left Batman. enough people had suffered. I was already contemplating taking off the bracelet. He would put himself in danger trying to come and find me like last time.

twelve weeks went by and I eventually just consented to his "precautions" as he called them. the rare occasions I left, she was so discreet that I barely noticed her. I’d started to grow quite fond of her. I didn't mind her being underneath me in public after a while so she began to make her presence more known as time went on. I found myself enjoying her company as we bonded. She had quite the bubbly personality. Days when I was feeling depressed It could put me in a much better mood, or it could make me want to vomit. Once I was grabbing some groceries and a man started speaking to me for more than necessary. She came up to put her arm tightly around my hip and tugged me to her. She called me honey and introduced herself with a friendly smile. I stuttered for a moment, but caught on quickly and gratefully to smile back at her.

another incident i was at the park during the day to enjoy some green in the concrete jungle that is gotham, something I had never been able to do in the past. I was wearing my shades, baseball cap and had my hood up despite the sunny weather when a dog came up to love on me as I laid on my blanket reading my book. I was overjoyed at his sheer happiness at me adoring animals the way I do. his floppy ears and shaggy coat we're adorable to me and he licked me consistently in the neck. Then he climbed on top of me to play, and i started laughing as I fell onto my back from the dog until his owner began to block out the sun behind me. He crouched next to me and reached out to touch my cheek. his arm was held straight as Skylar bent it backwards to force him into the ground. He cried as she put one of her knees on top of his back. Then she took a fistful of his hair and turned his face into the grass.

“I think you've had enough sunshine for one day,” She said in a non threatening voice. her actions held all the threat it needed.

“Jesus you're breaking my arm!” He shook his head against her grip as he grunted.

"That's the point,” She spoke to him like a bully in high school speaking to his wedgie victim.

The dog didn't even seem to notice his owner under attack. He just kept licking me as I stood up. Then he started trying to jump up to continue getting attention. Skylar released him to stand, but put her foot on his back slamming him back into the ground when he tried to sit up.

“No,” She looked down at him as she spoke, “we leave first. stay down until we're out of the park.”

“Who do you think you are? Let me up!” He roared frustrated.

People were starting to stare, but Skylar didn't seem to care. She leaned down to grab a fist full of his hair again and rub his face into the ground. I heard him spit a few times trying to keep the grass and dirt out of his mouth.

“Bitch I will fuck your whole world up,” she released his hair again as she laughed.

Then she pointed her feet to take the tip of her boot and push it between two of his ribs in his back. she put her full body weight on him. He screamed in agony.

“Stay down until we're out of the park,” She repeated, “give me lip again and I'll break em. Disobey my order and I'll do worse.”

“Okay! Okay!” He lifted his fingertips off the ground in a sign of yielding.

I had already gathered my things up as the dog kept jumping on me. Skylar kept her toes in his back as she grabbed the dog's leash off the ground and put it in his hand.

“Hold onto your dog so it doesn't follow us,” she stood straight to take her foot off of his back, but kept her eyes on him for a few seconds. Then she grabbed me by the top of the arm and tugged me in the direction we would need to walk to get home.

I was starting not to mind his version of babysitting. I never even had a chance to try and stall. She was always there to stop it before it had even really gotten started good. a routine began forming with us, daily or weekly things we did together. my night were restless though. it was another dream I’d had. I still have the recurring ones about him leaving me to die and offering his hand to take, but this one has only happened once so far.

_I’m asleep and wake up suddenly, something just telling me I wasn’t alone. I gasp to sit up, turning my lamp on to see Batman standing beside me, looking down at me like he’d been there the entire time. My mouth drops, my eyes growing larger as he watches me expressionless, waiting for me to react. What does he want? I whimper a little, glancing around, but still he doesn’t move._

_“Batman?” I ask, “is everything okay?”_

_“Yes,” he says simply._

_“Why are you here?” I say timid, tensing up as I push my shirt over my crotch more._

_“You.”_

_“What do you want?” I shake my head, blinking harder at him._

_“You,” he says again._

_My cheeks fill with blood from flattery, embarrassment, nerves, fear, excitement and more than anything, recognition of how serious this was, almost like I was in danger from him._

“Batman…” I say softly as my eyes open to the real world of my apartment.

My voice had been pleading and so longing… even coming out of my sleep I heard and felt how much desperation and in ways ached for him… I didn’t want to even kiss him, but man did I still desire him in other ways… just want to be near him or hear his voice, smell his scent... I frowned and put my arms around my legs, then frowned at the closet. I think this place might be haunted or it has something to do with air circulation. 

I sighed and lifted my arm to look at the bracelet, putting my cheek on my knee to rest as I pondered it all. It’s amazing how someone can give you so many conflicted feelings at once. I’m frightened of him and yet feel so safe with him. I want him in some ways, but am so nervous around him I feel like I can't handle it. One thing is for sure, I’m fond of this Dark Knight. I smile at the bracelet, even blushing a little.

The next night Skylar and I were walking down the street, each eating an ice-cream cone. She talked me into going out to get one. She said she was P.M.S. and needed a chocolate ice-cream scoop on a waffle cone specifically and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I told her to just go alone, but she wanted me to come. I had never really been able to connect with anyone, besides him of course…

Skylar was no exception to that, but she was definitely the only person I had ever been able to feel as close as I did. She babbled behind me and I was listening as much as I needed to make comments every minute or two. One thing that was nice about maven is she loved to talk, so I never had to contribute much to keep her going. 

“Miss. Annabella,” a deep voice said from above me.

Even though I immediately recognized it as Batman I still screamed and covered my head as I crouched down in a defensive posture. My ice cream cone came out of my hand so fast it hit a dumpster beside me before hitting the ground.

“Hey bats,” Skylar waved once at him and gave him her classic huge smile at the end of my scream. 

She put her arm around me, I guess to try and comfort me, and pulled me up straight. I clutched at my now painfully beating heart and tried to catch my breath. I was shaking harder than usual. My overall shaking had gotten a lot better the last few weeks, but never truly went away. I looked to where Skylar was looking. Once again he was perched on top of a fire escape. I shook my head at him. I still hadn’t had a chance to confront him about how he had told Skylar about me or the bodyguard thing and I was still frustrated. Regardless of how much I was beginning to like it, it still was endangering her life.

“Skylar,” he broke eye contact with me to nod once at Skylar before looking back.

“What brings you by?” she asked and I finally stood straight, but my breathing was still stunned.

“May I have a moment with Annabella?” he asked, never breaking eye contact with me. He looked extremely serious compared to our last encounter. A rush of excitement went through me.

“Oh… of course, “ she smiled at me and raised her eyebrows, “I'll walk a block up. just holler when you ready Anna.”

I cringed at her calling me Anna as I watched her leave. She walked ahead of us in the direction of my apartment to give us space as she tired to look like she was only interested in her chocolate cone. She turned back a few times to look at me curious as she smiled. When she was out of Batman's line of sight her smile got so big her teeth separated and she gave me a thumbs up. It was like a high school girl who was excited for her friend who was finally getting to talk to the cute guy she liked… oh Skylar… you gotta love her.

I was looking back and forth between them, unsure what to expect. Batman stared at me hard the entire time, never looking away once. As soon as Skylar sat down on a bus bench well out of hearing range he stood on the thin rail as easily as if he was on a flat surface. He dropped down, his cape stiffening around him to slow his drop like the last time. It whipped around in the wind. He crouched down low to absorb the impact so perfectly there was barely any sound when his boots hit the ground. When he stood his cape draped back over the front of his shoulders to cover most of him, the way I liked it. He was still kinda deep in the alley and I walked in to meet him. I knew he wouldn’t come out of it, he liked to keep a low profile.

“How are you?” he asked simply.

“W- what?” I shifted my weight to look around myself confused. I figured he was going to ask if anyone had tried to contact me or give me bad news. Something to do with business. 

“How are you?” he repeated the question even though it was obvious that my hearing wasn’t the problem.

“Um… I’m fine… how are you?” I shot back at him.

He nodded once in response to this question.

“Why are you really here?” I decided I would cut right to the chase.

“To check on you,” was all he said.

“Is the bracelet not working?” I asked.

“It’s working,” he continued to regard me like the rock he often was.

Man, sometimes I sincerely wondered if he had aspergers or some kind of personality disorder. It was hard not to when I spoke to him, he was just so… so serious.

“Then why not just check it instead of wasting your time?”

“I'm not wasting my time," he said simply, “I wanted to check on you in person. I hope that doesn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“Uh… no… it’s just a little surprising considering solving my case won’t save anyone.“ 

All the research I had done on him had said he never stayed longer than absolutely necessary. They would turn around and he would be gone while they were still speaking to him. There was one claim his grapple gun was already pulling him up out of the smoke he had popped before the last guy was even on the ground.

There was another that claimed he hooked a mugger with his grapple gun to pull them up to him. He hooked the gun on the fire escape and was shooting out another grappling gun to take off throuufg the air before the cord was even done going back into the gun to hang the guy upside down.

“You're not just a case,” he said.

“Oh… well thank you. That's very thoughtful,“ I looked at the ground and smiled a little before I got it under control.

I had to be careful, be sure that this wasn't the start of something bad. All of this should frighten me and if any other man in the world was saying this it would, but he wasn’t just any man. Besides I would have plenty of time to freak out about the possibility of this being a bad thing later, which I definitely would, but for right now I was thrilled.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” he asked in the same tone.

“I think you've done more than enough. By the way don’t you think i should have been asked about this whole body guard thing? Not to say I am ungrateful or anything, it’s just I don't want anyone else to get hurt. Also said you wouldn't tell anyone,“ I tried to sound as apologetic as possible.

“that was before you were taken. I would have asked if I thought you would have considered it. I told you I would take precautions regardless if you consented or not. This is something I deemed necessary,“ he spoke back it his hard monotone again in the voice he always used.

“And what if i told you now I really don’t want it anymore?”

“The outcome would be the same,” he said.

“What if i asked?” I had to push myself a little to ask as I tried rephrasing the question.

“if you sincerely don’t want Maven around I’ll send her away, but consider all the times she’s been there to help already. You must understand what you are asking,” he seemed concerned now.

“Of course I do. I know what it could mean, but I also don’t want anyone to die, especially you,“ I said this in a pathetic voice and I had to look away, ''I couldn't bear that.”

“I’m difficult to kill,” he gave me this like it was supposed to make me feel better about it.

“Even so… I've been thinking…” I had to stop for a moment to collect myself as my chest was getting a little tight in apprehension. 

“Annabella,“ and he came towards me to take both of my upper arms and his eyes and voice had a little emotion in it, “I’ll send maven away and if you don’t want to see me unless you need help, you won’t, but don’t remove the monitor. I won’t check it unless it goes off, only keep it. It could save your life.”

I just nodded my head at him blankly as I drew back in shock. He was just a good guy, how could I endanger him? It seemed to me it was all the more reason to take it off. I'll admit, despite the mountain of guilt I had, the thought of ending up back in the same kind of situation like last time made it easy to agree. this was another one of those moments that I felt like should be a red flag. Even though it didn't freak me out, I felt like it should. The amount of... Possession and worry in his voice was so intense. I felt like it shouldn't be present for the type of relationship that we have.

“Promise me,” he demanded.

“I- I promise. I just don’t want you to get hurt…” I said in a voice so low, even I couldn't hear it and looked down. He seemed to have no problem though. 

“And I don't want you to get hurt,” he says with a slight scowl while he slowly lets me go. 

Then he takes a step back from me. My chest was so tight now it made it hard to breath.

“Will you contact me if you need something?” he asked back to his hard, flat tone.

“Yeah…” I was still recovering from whatever that was. He took out his grapple gun and looked up to point and aim it. I had to ask him while I still had the chance, “is your name really Blake?”

“No,” he looked down from the sky and lowered his grapple gun.

“Why did you keep the loft location from me up until I left? why not just let me see it the entire time?”

“You were still there. if you were going to betray me, I still wouldn’t want you in the crossfire if the loft was compromised,” as he spoke shock spread across my features.

“Betray you? Have I done something to make you feel like I would?” I was a little worried now and started going over the last several months in my head as I looked to the ground concerned.

“No, I believe your intentions are innocent. I trust no one completely."

I thought about that for a second as I continued to stare at the ground. If anyone should have an issue trusting the other it should be me. I was the one with all the weird borderline mind control that I had no control over. Though it wasn’t surprising that he had trust issues. I got the feeling that people had always given him such a hard time about this kind of thing and that he just didn’t trust people. I don’t trust anyone either though...

“Oh,“ I say out loud as everything clicks into place.

I wanted to be offended, but I was the last person to take offense to trust issues. I looked up at him. When he took in my expression, he became a little softer.

“I understand,“ was all I said, and nodded a few times. I hope my face expressed the understanding that I was trying to put on it.

“You do, don’t you?” he said this low to himself in his slightly more emotional voice.

“I do,“ I smiled at him, but this time I did not look away.

He turned away to point his grapple gun to the roof above us. I jumped when it fired and he flew through the air so fast I heard the air around him woosh. I stared up at the night sky for a long time feeling extremely flustered. He came to see me… he had said it was because he wanted to see if I was okay in person… then he said I wasn't just a case to him… what is happening?

“Ready to go?” Skylar interrupted my thoughts and I screamed in the same manner as earlier. 

“God, you scare so easy,” she laughed a little to come over to me and rub my back as I straighten out from my defensive poster, “OMG please give me deets!” 

“What?” we started walking out of the alley, her ice cream was gone now.

“Details! Details! Details!“ she said in a rush at me as she shook my shoulder.

“About what? He said he just wanted to check on me.“

“Oh honey… batman doesn’t just check on people,” she said as she shook her head sympathetically.

“What do you mean?" I stopped and she stopped with me to turn and face me.

“Exactly what I just said. Batman is all business. He never takes an interest in people unless it serves working a case. I worked with him on a case a few years back for a long time with others. He doesn’t… check on people. Are you following me here?” she raises an eyebrow.

“Not exactly… am I supposed to?” I shook my head confused.

“Anna, if he didn’t come for business then...?”

“Please… please don’t call me that," I looked to the ground and folded my arms over my chest.

“hey I'm sorry… did he use to call you that,“ she put her hand on the side of my arm.

“Yeah…” I looked away embarrassed, “then what?”

“Then… maybe he came for another reason,” she said with a hint in her voice. I looked back at her and she had a slight smile.

“I told you. To check on me,” I said and I started walking again. she followed.

“And I told you he doesn't just check on people. The only time he meets up with people is to talk about a case. And your monitor tells him you’re just fine,” she countered.

“yeah, but he said he wanted to check on me in person.”

“What?!” she stopped again to turn fast to face me, “this is why i wanted details! He said that?”

“Dang Sky!” she was gripping the sides of my arms really hard.

“Sorry,“ she dropped them, “but he said that?”

“Yes!”

“What else did he say?!”

"Jez! you're like a high school girl! Do you want me to give a word for word run down of the entire conversation?” I was being sarcastic, but she took it seriously

“Oh yes! I didn’t want to be too noisy, but please!” she nodded her head frantically while holding her intertwined fingers in front of herself to beg.

“Oh come on Skylar,“ I put my hand over my forehead in a sign of exhaustion.

“Please just give me something! One more detail and drop it,“ she raised her hand in front of her in a gesture of showing promise.

“um... I don't really know what you want to know. Can we just drop it please?” I started walking again.

It felt wrong to talk about him like this for some reason. Maybe it only felt wrong because I had never had a girlfriend to gossip with. Maybe it was because it made this feel like something I wasn’t ready for or made it more real. As far as Batman goes, I like him and I want to see him, but if Skylar’s right, that makes this all incredibly intimidating now. That means…. So much for me…. I- I- I don’t even know how to react. Is this going to be a problem?

“Fine,“ she said disappointed.

“You talk like a relationship with this guy is possible,” we were going up the stairs now.

“And why not? Don’t you think he’s hot? I mean let's be real, it’s super weird he dresses like a bat and he is extremely serious, but still. Soooo hot,” she swooned, “maybe it’s the cape. That Robin is really hot too. Worked with him too and I swear, could have drowned a toddler in my panties (Archer, Pam).”

“Jesus!” I smacked her arm as blood filled my cheeks. God, she could be so nasty and vulgar. we were at my door now, “and because he doesn’t strike me as the dating type.”

“Oh he isn’t, or at least I’ve never heard of him being with anyone besides Catwoman. People swear they were a thing for a while though, but they also say it didn’t work because she’s a thief. Batman doesn’t date criminals, if he dates at all,“ she was getting out her keys as i was doing the same.

It’s quite a coincidence that I had contemplated how Catwoman would be more his speed than me. Now I was hearing they may have already given it a go… wow… I really didn’t like the thought of that. Why does that bother me so much? We certainly weren’t a thing nor have we ever been, but to know there was another woman out there made me feel incredibly insecure. My cheeks started burning and I scowled at the carpet. This made no sense… I don't even like the guy. I’ve never liked anyone, not like that.

“Annabella!“ she jerked my shoulder a little.

I almost whined out of habit, but it was completely healed at this point. So were all my other injuries, though my wrist and ankles had some light scaring.

“You like him!“ she said sounding thrilled she’d caught on. She was wrong of course.

“No,“ I said simply and I turned away from her to put my key in the door, “not like that. Trust me, I think he’s great because he’s helped me out of things several times, but I don’t have feelings for him like that.”

“Are you kidding? Look at those cheeks!“ she came to try and get in front of me so she could see my face again.

“I’m telling you Sky, I really care about him, but as a friend. I can’t see him that way,” I shook my head at her. I didn't like where this was going because if she kept insisting I would have to tell her why.

“No, no, you like him, I can tell. I've seen that face and those eyes countless times and it’s always a dead give away,” she pushed even harder.

I was still shaking my head at her, only now they were getting wider and faster.

“It’s okay Annabella, I won't tell him. Why are you denying it s-, “ I cut her off sharply to face her with hurt and even a little bit of anger in my eyes.

“Because it’s not true! I know I never wanted to talk about my past so you don’t know a lot about me, but i am broken! I have never dated anyone because I can't. I’ve never been raped because Batman’s stopped it three times which is the only kind of relationship with a man I’ve ever had so excuse me if I want nothing to do with one!” my eyes had started filling with tears, but i was only getting angrier.

Skylar’s face had fallen into one of pure guilt. It melted away my fury very quickly. I had never seen her look so… not bubbly. Now I feel guilty. she didn’t know it was a touchy subject for me and that talking about it would set me off in such a way. I sniffled, covered half of my face with a trembling hand trying to collect myself.

“Annabella… I'm sorry. I didn’t think about it like that. I should have been more considerate,” she put her hand out to touch my arm again, but dropped it.

“No,” I took a huge breath and shook my head, catching two more tears as they kept coming, “I'm sorry. How could you have known, I never talk about it. It’s not you Sky, it’s just… I wish it weren’t true. Sometimes I really want to, I wish I could. He’s the only man I've ever had in my life that doesn’t look at me like an object, who respects me and my boundaries completely, talks to me like he sees me.

“Who really seems to be there for me because he wants to, not because he’s manipulated by me. I feel so… safe with him… just right. Like all the stuff I've been through never happened in the first place and… and I want to be with him in some ways. Like just be with him, talk to him and see him. He makes me feel like… like I don’t know and it doesn’t matter because it’s just not possible.

“I don’t want to be with anyone,” I gave her a disturbing, sincere expression, “I don’t know what I can say to make this clearer to you or any of the men that seem so desperate to…” I scoft and shake my head, “Batman is no exception.”

When I looked back up at her she smiled a little to my surprise.

“Look, I know you don’t think you’re capable of it, but what I’m hearing and seeing is that it’s something that’s becoming possible for you. Maybe it’s that you’ve had time to heal or maybe it’s him. When you really care about someone, they have the power to help you through things without even trying.

“I’m not saying that’s what's happening, but I just want you to consider you have a whole life ahead of you and even if it’s not Batman, you’re completely capable of being with someone. If not now, then some day,“ she lifted her hand again to put it on my arm.

“Thanks Skylar,“ I put my hand on her arm too, “hey, do you wanna come in? We can watch a movie or something?”

“Yeah,” she nodded to smile back at me.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………


End file.
